Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Mens Facility Morgantown

This evening I went to the mens facility in Morgantown for a meet and greet I guess you'd call it. I was nervous all day thinking about being in a room full of men so I got my nails fixed in the morning and then slept most of the day. It was just too much anxiety and when I hit overload I shut down so the usual end result is me falling asleep. So when it was time to get ready I got up and messed around with getting ready, its weird because my old therapist always new when I was having a bad day because I would get all dressed up and do my hair and makeup, and thats what I did today. I'm a little disappointed with myself because I had to take a anti-anxiety medication and I smoked like a freight train. The most disappointing though was that I wasn't able to make it all the way through my introduction with out crying and not just tears, I could hardly speak. I think it just all came to a head in that moment and unfortunately it was while I was introducing myself. Terry had to finish for me and I must say he does a far better job than me :) My head is throbbing and all I want to do is go to bed. After all the talking we mingled with the gentlemen and dogs and go to know some of them, thing is I'll forget everything they told me by tomorrow morning. Its not because I want too, I am bad with names and information. I am extremely proud of myself for making it through the evening, being in a room full of men was hard and I did it. It really wasn't that bad. I figured Heidi had been working with these men for almost a year and she would know if there were any that weren't safe to be around. She wouldn't be around them if they weren't safe. duh! So I just kept telling myself they were good guys and they didn't want to hurt me. In fact they want to help me, thats why their training dogs- to help other people. But anyway I feel like I'm rambling and I am so ready to go back to sleep. I am looking forward to working with the guys and the dogs. Night.