Saturday, April 24, 2010

It wasn't as hard as I thought!

Well last Tuesday, 4 days ago, I had my visit at the prison and it went very well. I finally told the ladies my story, why I have PTSD. I didn't think it would be as easy or feel as good. When I told Heidi I was ready to tell them- you should of seen her face. When we got in there I thought maybe I should wait what if something happens and I have to go back to the hospital, I really don't like having to go. I also thought what if I just can't do it, but then I remembered what I was told about the words I can't, so I thought I would try anyway. When I first started to speak I could barely talk and tears welled up in my eyes. So, I smiled took a deep breath and tried to collect my thoughts, after that it just came right out. What I said was very short and to the point and by the time I was finished me legs we going up and down 90 mph. It looked like I was running in place, if my mom had been there she would have put her hand on my leg and said "jenny your shaking the whole table". :) The ladies were awesome they asked me if there was anything that we could talk about that would help and they've already shared their stories with me. My fear is what people will think after they know and somehow they eased my mind. So THANK YOU to Heidi and all the wonderful ladies!