April

Just got off the phone with April, she's very sweet. She3 offered to look into some counseling outside the VAMC for me. I think that might be a good idea since we didn't get off to a good start at the RDVIC. It was okay, but we didn't talk about anything related to what I need to talk about. I guess that's the best way to say it??? It was good to talk to someone over the phone other than my mom or grandma. I love 'em, but their the only people I talk too! April said she may call me this weekend too, I'm looking forward to that. I haven't been up to much, just trying to stay warm and out of the snow. I did join Weight Watchers Online last night though, I'm ready to make that change and start getting healthy. I miss the dogs and the ladies at the prison terribly! Hope to see them soon!

2nd visit to men's facility

On Tuesday evening I went to the men's facility in Morgantown. It was a good visit, Heidi had me tell the men about my visit to see the puppies. They had lots of questions for her after I told them how the puppies were sitting and down. It was a good visit, they had a test to take. Looking forward to seeing the ladies again!

PUPPIES

Yesterday my mom and I drove to VA to see the puppies. Thank you Kyria for allowing us to come and play with your babies! They were so cute and cuddly and just absolutey adorable!!!!!!!! Theres 8 and I probably held each one, it was hard to keep of which one was which. They smelled like puppies and they had puppy breath (I love it). When we first got there Kyria told us that it was about time for them to eat so we got to help feed them. Kyria would take one and work on sit and down, and some of them did it really well. Then I would take the puppy to the food bowl and sit them down and they had to wait and then you tell them to eat and they can eat. My mom, she refilled the food bowls and we just kept it going like that til the last one had ate. After eating the pups were ready to play so Kyria let them out of their box thing and they played with us. They gave lots of kisses and they founf the rope toy and they were dragging it back and forth and even a little tug of war. Then they were ready for a nap and they slept a while. We were there for 5 hours so we got to play with them quite a bit. I hope to go back in a few weeks.

trip to men's facility

Sorry its taken me so long to get the post up, having Lexi kept me really busy and I didn't get a chance to do it. Well, about 3 weeks ago I went to the men's facility in Mo-town and it was a good visit. I was expecting we'd go into a side room somewhere and that there would be some men and dogs and that I would do just fine. We ended up going into the facility and walking through this courtyard like opening in the middle of the facility and there were men EVERYWHERE. They were in front of me, behind me, to my left, and to my right and I wanted to curl up in a ball and make them all go away. Luckily I had taken half of a tab of my anti-anxiety medicine, because I didn't know what it was going to be like, and so I didn't totally freak out. It wasn't just the medicine that helped me though, I also used the grounding technique Doc taught me. Once we got back into the room with the trainers and dogs I was able to breathe again. They had to take a test, so the tables turned and I got to watch them sweat. :) Just kidding, but they did have to take a test. I'm looking forward to my next visit, I don't want to make the walk through, but I'll do it just to show everyone I really am getting better!

LEXI

Lexi and I are getting along good. Let me tell you a little about Lexi. She is a dog that I am fostering til Dec-Jan. She is afraid of pretty much everything. And she is soooooooo sweet! We're still getting used to each other but she is eating even though she's in a new home. I was totally stressed about doing everything right, but after talking to Karen, I've relaxed.

Witschey's

Yesterday I went to the grocery store, by myself and get this....it was in my hometown. Usually I'm terrified of running into to someone that would know me and so far I haven't. To be honest I hope I never do, its just too much for me to see someone that is connected to my past. Going to Witschey's was still very easy for me, my anxiety level was normal (4) and I just focused on what I was there to get and I didn't rush through it, I took my time. I'm very proud of myself and as soon as my grandma gets better I'll be going to see those puppies!

Mens Facility Morgantown

This evening I went to the mens facility in Morgantown for a meet and greet I guess you'd call it. I was nervous all day thinking about being in a room full of men so I got my nails fixed in the morning and then slept most of the day. It was just too much anxiety and when I hit overload I shut down so the usual end result is me falling asleep. So when it was time to get ready I got up and messed around with getting ready, its weird because my old therapist always new when I was having a bad day because I would get all dressed up and do my hair and makeup, and thats what I did today. I'm a little disappointed with myself because I had to take a anti-anxiety medication and I smoked like a freight train. The most disappointing though was that I wasn't able to make it all the way through my introduction with out crying and not just tears, I could hardly speak. I think it just all came to a head in that moment and unfortunately it was while I was introducing myself. Terry had to finish for me and I must say he does a far better job than me :) My head is throbbing and all I want to do is go to bed. After all the talking we mingled with the gentlemen and dogs and go to know some of them, thing is I'll forget everything they told me by tomorrow morning. Its not because I want too, I am bad with names and information. I am extremely proud of myself for making it through the evening, being in a room full of men was hard and I did it. It really wasn't that bad. I figured Heidi had been working with these men for almost a year and she would know if there were any that weren't safe to be around. She wouldn't be around them if they weren't safe. duh! So I just kept telling myself they were good guys and they didn't want to hurt me. In fact they want to help me, thats why their training dogs- to help other people. But anyway I feel like I'm rambling and I am so ready to go back to sleep. I am looking forward to working with the guys and the dogs. Night.